Hey everyone,


 Man have I been neglecting it all. Running Two LJs is just not possible! Besides, CSI is mostly out of my life now...it'll always have a special place in my heart, though.

 One question for today:

 How do people feel about...real-person fanfic?

I'm so sorry to all.

Cupid's Chokehold is fully finished and I just haven't had the time to update it on FF.... I will do so now that I've remembered. i've just been working my summer job and it has been really consuming.

Just want to say thank you to all who have been keeping up with it and have been enjoying it, quite to my pleasure. I'm glad that what I had to say about our favorite ship pleased your imaginations! I hope to be writing some more stuff in the future but for now, I'm far too heartbroken about Grissom's absence and I'm not quite sure if I can recover from that.

My transitional love has been 30Rock, which is absolutely amazing. Jack/Liz for life.

Thank you!!

I did say I would stay in touch with this LJ, so here I am! :D

Cupid's Chokehold is finally finished. Well, that's as far as the main content goes. All I have to do is come up with an idea for an Epilogue (I figured I had to have one, since I had a prologue.) and all that's left to do will be to post and share away!

Other than that, there isn't much going on in my fandom life. Other than the fact that PureJoy is still my utmost OTP. There is no bringing that down.

Billy/Marg still own my world. Fo sho.

Gravy, out.

 Hey all, 

The title is actually a bit misleading. I'm not closing this one.

Gravey will always be as long as there is a world to make fandoms out of, such as CSI. But I've just made a new journal. It's going to be a lot more personal, with pictures, thoughts and such. Probably going to update it more than this one but I definitely still appreciate this one to the max.

I don't want to throw this away because I've made such valuable friends on it and I'm definitely keeping it for creativity's sake. Fanfic will still come up and the occasional fandom girls will be here.

But if you'd like to add me on my new and more personal LJ, it is ckslifeinblue . 

 Thank God. Cupid's Chokehold is back on track. 

I'm writing Chapter 50 at the moment, which sounds utterly ridiculous. I don't understand how I've let it become this long, but in my mind at some point, it just had to be this way. FF.net and GraveshiftCSI only have up to about Chapter 38 but they are coming. I'm just sometimes too lazy to post online. I need to get this done and then I can start posting without hesitation. 

Thank you to those who have been keeping up with the story. Everyone on FF and Graveshift that have been giving me such wonderful reviews...I really thank you all. :)

Stay tuned! We're almost there. 

http://www.graveshiftcsi.com/fanfiction/viewstory.php?sid=3063

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3575375/1/Cupids_Chokehold

- Gravey

 Well I'm getting over things. Not the relationship but of course the other one. Any kind of romantic thoughts are starting to go away. Which is I guess...partly a good thing and partly a bad thing. But it's all right. I don't mind it. 

I suddenly feel motivated. Maybe it was the webcam-lecture I just got from my parents about what to do with life. Like I wrote in my college application essays...my parents have always been the ones that held out the carrot at the end of the stick, the poke in the back when I was slouching. They were pushy, and incredibly so. But they have helped me achieve goals, sometimes more than one at a time. 

I need a plan. A plan for my life. I need to figure out what I want to do with it. I understand that living in the present is more important than living in any other time. But I need to envision myself happy so I can be happy in what I am doing right now. I somehow need the guarantee that at the end of the road, at the end of this painful journey, there is a chance for redemption, a chance to turn all of this around. I'm not saying that I'm in pain right now or am unhappy. I'm actually quite satisfied with college life and how Duke keeps me on my toes. It's been a challenge; just one that I have come to learn to enjoy.

I feel like I can start making things better. I'm almost 100% sure that this sudden motivation will die away by the end of tomorrow but I want to make sure that it happened and be able to relive this moment when I read this entry again. I want to keep at it. Because I have a goal. I have a life that I want to be able to live. I have a car I want to have, I have a house in mind.  I have a city that I want to be a part of, I have a job that I want to enjoy. 

I need to make it happen. Otherwise, I'm just not sure what I'd do with myself. 

Good luck, me.

 
It's really not fun liking somebody. Especially someone who you're not allowed to like. Someone who you're not supposed to be thinking about. 

This totally hasn't happened since Grade 7. GRADE 7. Like what the hell. I really don't want to be in this position right now. This is NOT COOL. At all. Especially since...I'm already committed to someone else. 

I KNOW. I'm AWFUL. Just tell me that I'm an AWFUL person. That I'm just a two-timing bitch. GOD.

What the hell am I supposed to do though?.......OMG.

This is not cool.

LJ, help me get over this ..... buttface....not. 

Crap.

GTFO.

 Thanks to ericasj , I watched the "ending" scene of 9x10. Not the last minute. I'm choosing to ignore that.

 I'm crying. Inevitably.

 It's just that...Grissom ... almost feels like... my other dad. The father figure that I've come to love when I was away from my dad while I was in Vancouver. I'm thinking...he's the character that made me form these attachments. That made me start loving the show, dedicating myself every Thursday to this. To this show.

 And he's left. 
 
 I don't know how he can just...leave like that. Just...LEFT. Like...like he won't be coming back. 

 It's his last walk through the lab. I'll never...see him...and his clipboard...walking through the lab. I've never realized...how...how much I appreciated that. 

 But like all things, I guess we only realize the things we appreciate the most when they're gone.

 I just hoped that wasn't the case with Gil Grissom. But I guess I was wrong. Again.

 

 Um.


I was going to be emotional. Ridiculously. 

But then I saw the last 20 seconds of CSI. And I just got plain angry.

what the fuck, tptb. what the FUCK.


that's it. 

i'm outta here.

 I keep passing by my common room and catching a glimpse of the promo for One to Go.    

And of course, I keep running away and drawing strange looks from my dormmates. I tell them that it's personal, something I just can't bear to watch. Something I just can't bring myself to imagine. 

The case doesn't seem that epic. Maybe a little dramatic but doesn't seem all that...huge. But I guess those are reserved for season finales. He should come back in the Season Finale. He should come back as soon as possible. 

Recently, I've been wondering whether it would be better if the show simply came to an end. Although I'm sure that this would be far more dramatic, I can't seem to imagine a CSI without Gil Grissom. The reason I got hooked on CSI in the first place was because of the lure of the strange intellectual in the gray beard. The man who said so much with his eyes, yet so little with his words. The man who seemed to know everything yet nothing when it came to him and himself only. The man with whom I could draw strange parallels. The supervisor who knew that the best way to lead any team was not to walk in front of them but to support them from behind. 

I've been disappointed in him, as of late. With his unusual behavior that seems to deviate from everything he's ever done and said in the past seasons, he has become someone else. Someone that I couldn't recognize. But now, I'd rather have that man stay than not have him at all. Shit.

Life as I knew it will end this Thursday. Something else, something new will begin, I suppose. I can't say I'm going to like it but I really hope I do. 

After all, it is our duty to be optimist, although the pessimist clearly has more information and is more intelligent. 

 


THAT IS ALL>>>>>>>>>!!!!

 New layout...might change it soon if I find a better one. I need to make a new header image. That's sooooo old. Gross.

 But it's a little....brighter than the one before and therefore slightly more optimistic. I guess it's kind of like a New Year Resolution. Kind of like wishful thinking too.

 Cupid's Chokehold is finally nearing an end. I thought I was finished a couple of days ago but I decided to add things. Maybe it was because I thought it actually needed more material but...maybe it's also because I'm too afraid to part with it. Being done with it and having it published is going to be a little scary for me. The last several chapters definitely needs looking over and more descriptions. It's becoming a real book. Almost 100 pages....10 font. Scary, right? I'm repeating the word "scary" and not on purpose. Not cool.

 But that's it...dorms are opening tomorrow...*sigh* Moving back in there from this crummy inn that I'm staying at should be a nice change. Ch-ch-changes!....

 CSI always makes its way in there somehow. 

 Ready or not, here they come.